Hi everyone. I think we should align on our philanthropic messaging frameworks going forward. Just from a strategic communications standpoint.

Bill, in plain English that means 'get our stories straight,' right? Where I come from in Arkansas we just say that.

I prefer 'narrative alignment' but yes, essentially.

Guys! My two favorite Bills! I was just telling Sergey Brin the other day, I said 'I know two Bills who are going to change the world.' He was very impressed.

Jeffrey, please stop telling tech founders that you know me. It creates data points.

Data points. Lord. In my day we just called them 'evidence.'

Okay so here's my framework. When asked about Jeffrey, I say we discussed philanthropy, global health, and how to leverage his network to raise money for education initiatives.

That's good. Very boring. Nobody asks follow-up questions about education initiatives.

I love it. I'm a philanthropist. A connector. I bring brilliant people together for the betterment of humanity. That's the Jeffrey Epstein brand.

Jeffrey, you don't have a brand. You have a legal situation. There's an important distinction.

Now Bill G., what about the dinner parties? I hear you went to Jeffrey's Manhattan place quite a few times.

Those were working dinners focused on philanthropic goal-setting. I have Outlook calendar invites to prove they were categorized as work meetings.

You categorized dinners at Jeffrey Epstein's house as work meetings in Outlook?

I categorize everything. I have a very robust organizational system. Melinda can confirm. Well. Melinda probably shouldn't be asked about any of this actually.

See, this is beautiful. Two powerful men using my platform to make the world better. I should write a book. 'The Art of the Connection' or something.

Jeffrey, do NOT write a book. That is the worst idea I have heard since someone suggested I do a deposition under oath.

Agreed. No books. No memoirs. No podcasts. No TED talks. Nothing that creates a searchable digital record.

Fine, fine. No book. But Bill G., when they ask about our relationship, what do you say about the rides on the plane?

I say it was a mistake and I regret it. Very direct. Acknowledges error without admitting specifics. It's a framework we use at the foundation for crisis communications.

Now see, that's amateur hour. Never say 'mistake.' Say 'I wish I had been more thoughtful about the optics.' It sounds like you're apologizing without actually apologizing for anything specific.

That's... actually really good. Can I use that? I'll put it in a PowerPoint for my communications team.

Son, please do not put our Epstein excuse strategy in a PowerPoint presentation.

I gotta say, watching you two work is incredible. This is why I surround myself with the best minds. I told Leon Black the same thing last week.

Can you please stop naming other people in this chat? Every name you drop is a potential co-defendant.

Now here's what concerns me. Hillary's been giving me this look lately. You know the look. The whole world knows the look.

Melinda's been giving me a similar look. I tried to explain the dinner meetings using a spreadsheet and it made things worse somehow.

You guys worry too much. I've never been caught for anything serious. I got a great deal in Florida. My lawyer is Alan Dershowitz - you know Alan, everyone knows Alan.

Jeffrey, your 'great deal in Florida' is literally Exhibit A for why the justice system is broken. Please stop calling it that.

Okay, to summarize action items: philanthropy narrative, no specifics, express vague regret, no books, no PowerPoints. I'll send a follow-up email.

Bill Gates if you send a follow-up email about this conversation I swear on my library in Little Rock.